A Medical Card

I cried yesterday. Not an unusual occurrence, of course, but for the first time since Luke has been gone - I cried tears of happiness. Yesterday I opened the mail and was stunned to find Luke's new medical card. It completely caught me off guard because for anyone who works with me they too can testify that our insurance company isn't exactly the quickest at processing stuff. In fact just recently I had a conversation with someone at work who said they got a bill from about four years ago that they were just now processing.

I knew that I would be receiving Luke's birth certificate, social security card, as well as his medical card, I just expected it to be months from now when the pain wasn't so raw. So as I sit there on my bed, sobbing my eyes out with this medical card in my hand something dawned on me. At first I was crying because I realized that I would never be able to use this card for Luke. I got really mad thinking to myself "why would they be so cruel as to issue a card to a child that can never even use it?" I was so overwhelmed with grief because I knew that I would never be able to pull this card out of my wallet when I had to rush him to the ER for a broken bone, or to take him to the doctor for his first cold. I felt cheated out of getting to be that protective mother who runs to the doctor, with this insurance card in tow, anytime my little man had the slightest cough or tiny rash. But the more I selfishly cried the more I realized that if in fact I did get to use this insurance card I would be using it because my child would be in pain. I realized at that moment my child will never have to experience any of these events that are all associated with him suffering. Luke will forever be perfect. His bones will never be broken, his sweet skin will never be scared or bruised, and he will never have to cry out in pain. So in an ironic twist of fate, my insurance company saved the day. Yes, it may take them six months to a year to pay my medical bills but proving to me that my son will never have to suffer or endure pain apparently only takes them a few days to process. So for that, I thank you insurance company.